We Pursue That Which Retreats From Us

--On a narrow definition:

In social dynamics – the following statement holds true; absence makes the heart grow fonder. It is sad but true, when a woman misses you, she wants you more. Human beings are hardwired to want what they can’t have. When two individuals meet, they are particularly sensitive as to whether the interaction is with a dominant, subordinate or an equal individual. In any interaction, one person is reacting more than the other. Once this view has been taken it becomes increasingly difficult to change or restore the balance. This is the cat string theory. If you hold a string above a cat, it will go crazy for you. It will do anything it can do to get the string, but the moment it has it, it soon gets bored and throws it away. The lack of something increases the desire for it.

--In a wider perspective:

The aim to have a positive interaction should be two steps forward, and one step back whilst always escalating. The mistake often is the belief that persistent presence will reassure a woman. However, the more obviously you chase a woman, the more likely you are to scare her away. Going forward, try to decide when to selectively withdraw. You won’t look desperate and needy, and the missing information about you suggests that there must be more to you. You don’t want her to be thinking, “Oh my god! Are we going to be stuck with this guy, all night?’ as this is un-seductive. You want her to believe that you are a man with options. Make sure however that you do fully commit to the interaction but create some value through scarcity. This may go against everything you’ve been thinking so far, but if there is ONE thing that you need to get right, it is probably this! Too much circulation makes the price go down. Anything in this game that is successful is counter intuitive:

Such neediness as described above includes qualifying yourself to the girl or constantly approval/reaction seeking which will destroy your value. Think if Brad Pitt was in the club. Do you think that Brad Pitt would qualify himself to anyone? No. He would just turn up. To quote the philosopher Lao Tzu, "Care about other people's approval, and you will be their prisoner." As you start to follow this principle, you will start to become detached from the outcome and just get on with having good, solid positive interactions. There is no pressure to build a strong value-laden relationship right off the bat.

This can be referred to as push/pull. Pull is when you're drawing her in and validating her. Push is when - you're showing something is not as important as she had made it out to be whilst still progressing to the forward movement. Punish any unwanted behaviour with disinterest until further rapport is established. This can often be done by just creating a vacuum of silence between the two of you, where she will feel the need to fill the gap if you have shown prior commitment to the interaction already. Note. You also need to be careful of your attainability to her. She should believe she has a shot to get you if she wants to.

Michael
~THE EDGE