I personally happen to think we should be more concerned with the usefulness than the truthfulness of our beliefs. Sometimes getting a girl to bed is like negotiating a minefield, only experience will teach you how to get through it. In the interim, here is the mapping of my own mindscape, a guide. You should create your own mindset based on first hand in-field references. You can start to break all sorts of rules and you’ll find you will get away with it. All great pick up artists have internalised these; they are the difference that of throwing a bullet, and shooting it from a gun:
ON REJECTION: I need to have no outcome dependency. Be Disconnected. WIN-WIN = THE perfect situation. I don’t take my sets too seriously. They really don’t faze me. If you get blown out you learn from it. As Rocky says “Life is not about how hard you can HIT, Life is about how hard you GET HIT and keep moving forward.” Add it to the body of knowledge that you have and take corrective action. Only recently have I discovered how important it is to always have a learning frame.
Most people who get into this fail. They do so because of various reasons all leading back to one character flaw - they are too willing to give up on themselves. I have no problem with ‘rejection’, as a matter of fact I like it as it keeps me humble. If it annoys you, remind yourself that you always have the excellent consolation prize of knowing that you needed to have balls to do what you just did. The fact that you are doing it is far more important than the reaction you get. By the way, Babe Ruth held the record for the most home runs in baseball history. Did you know he also held the record for most strike outs? Think about that.
ON EGO: The ego is vulnerable and a mind identified state constantly under threat. Surprisingly it is the ego which most often talked me out of approaching women, not fear. Most guys would rather save their current impression of themselves rather than go out and put it on the line and risk rejection. Your ego relates everything to a historic benchmark. When your current based reality doesn't match your past reality, your ego reacts resulting in unwanted behaviour. It creates an identity to resolve the paradox between your internal drives and desires - and idealised behaviour dictated by society & culture. So people build up their own self worth, value and especially their skills in their heads. They believe they are amazing and they create this false self based on nothing, no evidence of any kind to keep them safe from reality. Reaction/approval seeking and looking for validation are examples of feeding the ego.
Everyone has an ego. You can't kill your ego. Gradually eradicate it. It's damn near impossible to detach yourself from it. It's just an issue of how self-affecting your ego is and how much it consumes you. It's not there just to stop us getting what we want; it's there also at times to help us, to bolster us up and stop us from falling. However never let your ego disillusion you about what you've always wanted in life and what you care about. Never let pride hold you back. When I realised was this I was 1000000x better. Reset the ego button. And that is it. If you don’t approach her because of your ego, you’re cheating yourself and her.
ON FEAR: I want to summarise this simply with a quote from a Marianne Williams poem. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others” So true. That is all you need to know and internalise before making a cold approach to a woman. Putting yourself in scenarios that are more unpredictable will help.
ON BEING ALPHA: To sum up- Alpha male is leader of a pack, beta is the weak non-descript faceless fool that follows (credit to Cardenas). They are sheep. And sheep get slaughtered. A beta male just has no confidence in what he does. I don’t lose any battles when I set the terms. I think the word here is UNHESITANT. Most people stand aside when the alpha challenges. I regularly happen to quiz my ex-girl friends about what was it that attracted them to me. They normally tell me I am the most confident guy they have ever met. Even when discussing topics that they want to talk about, it’s all from my point of view. Note. When someone is actually an alpha male they will exhibit alpha traits but take time and effort in exuding humility. The result is respect and love from both men and women. When someone is ‘trying’ to be alpha they spend their time exuding alpha traits and forget humility. Net effect? Arrogance.
ON DESPERATION: Don’t be desperate or needy. A real life example of guys who cannot let go at any costs (Please God don’t let this ever be you) are adverts placed in the classified sections of newspapers: Example: “To the girl in the red top who smiled at me whilst going down the escalator at Grand Central Station: It was around 3pm on Friday afternoon. I was coming up the escalator and you were going down. I looked at you too and smiled. I was not able to say anything. If by some miracle you see this message, do please get in touch. Blew it - I'd really love to see you again..xxx.” Stupid, stupid, stupid. This is not even realistic. Let it go like a bad stink. Just forget that you smelt it and move on. The world is filled with abundance. Get out of living in this scarcity mindset.
ON POSITIVITY: Put in positivity and abundance and that is exactly what you will get back. If you honestly believe there are disadvantages to being positive then you need to ask yourself why. When I am speaking with a girl I assume attraction. An important belief that I have is that ‘I honestly believe that I am the best person for her’. I have no doubt in my mind. This is why I go through girlfriends like most people go through packets of cereal. When we start learning seduction, we start by layering positive beliefs on top of the negative ones in the hope that we altogether kill the negativity. It was about keeping a positive outlook and reaching for the impossible. Subsequently I have few or no negative beliefs about women either. I figured out that viewing the world as a war zone is a big sign that inside you’re still pissed off at the world. Belittling/putting others down to make yourself feel better will only destroy your value. Avoid. No problem is permanent.
Enthusiasm is valuable & energising. Most people look at their current circumstances and deem certain things impossible. If you believe something can be done then you stand a much greater chance of actually doing it. How many hot babes would give you their number if you said something like "I doubt it, but if you were interested, maybe you would go out with me" None. However approach the same aim with a positive mind and you will improve your chances.
WOMEN ON MEN: Have you guys stopped to think that women actually want to be seduced? And not necessarily for a serious relationship but for a one-night-stand and casual sex as well? This is an important belief. I’m talking about projecting sexual state and conveying sexual intent. Yes, I based my game around this and I was very, very good. By building a sexual platform, girls were clawed, key locked, number closed, and amazingness ensued. I actually have a friend who had sex from a wrong number just by continuing to talk to her. If you don’t believe me just read My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday.
ON SOCIAL CONDITIONING: We all already have what's necessary to get what we want - it's buried under piles of negative experiences, limiting beliefs and social programming. People try to project incredible things onto me but I don’t buy into them. Popular culture, family life, school etc. I cordially dislike any form of pretension or judgement based perception of social status, physical appearance, possessions etc. Height, money, penis length, job are all common misconceptions by guys of things that actually matter to a women. 95% of women are not fussed about these things. So you should forget about them too.
Example: In Scarface, Tony Montana says when you get the money you have the power, then you get the power you get woman. In reality though, looks and money don’t get you laid. The guys who spend thousands of dollars on bottles of Dom Pérignon each night in nightclubs to impress girls go home and have an expensive wank. Pete Doherty (heroin addict/small time rock star) gave us all hope when he dated supermodel Kate Moss and his example serves the purpose.
Bench press the World guys. And if you don’t believe in all this Inner Game stuff here is a gentle reminder; One day looks will fade, but a beautiful mind will stay young at an old age. Inner game is king.
Michael
NYC
~THE EDGE
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